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My Wife And I Are Splitting Up Because Our Opinions Differ So Much On The Following Events.?

Daryl-Kifer, 2008-01-19 20:35:05
We have been in a major fight for the last 11 months over it.I gave a strange woman a ride home from the casino when I was supposed to be at work and never told her about it.She gave her ex brother in law and three of his friends a ride home and told me about it almost a year later but said it was only him and 1 friend. About 10 years prior the brother in law was giving her a ride home and pulled over in a park and made sexual advances. She said nothing happened and told me about it when she got home. I got jealous and ended up in jail for 1 day over it. She knew I still had bad feelings about it and was driving my truck. She says what I did is closer to infidelity because I was alone with her and there were other people there when she gave the ride. to her ex brother in law. Her other sister and 3 men that no one knows except her ex brother in law. Which one is worst?

2008-01-20 01:36:14 Rayford-Ruhl wrote: Its not about who does what. If you don't trust each other in your relationship and can't come to terms at the end of the day than this relationship will just end. My husband and I don't have simular opinions but we just see it as different viewpoints and work on our relationship, talking to each other and spending time together. Love was the first thing that bought us together and keeps us still together. No matter how tough, how hurt, we still make up afterwards. I think if things are that bad than maybe you should see a professional and get some marriage counselling, if it still doesn't help than maybe its time to move on and find peace and find yourself again.

2008-01-19 21:54:12 Clifford-Hays wrote: None. None of these are worse. You did something your wife didn't like and she did something you didn't like. Both lied/kept truth from each other. You are BOTH at fault. Now, man up and say you are wrong in the area you're wrong in and work on your marriage.

2008-01-19 21:53:39 Lorinda-Beach wrote: A man and a woman should never be alone together, not because something "will" happen, but because something "could" happen. It's just putting yourself in a potential bad situation. Which your wife actually did when she accepted a ride from her brother in law who made sexual advances. So you have both done something that you used poor judgement on. But since nothing happened, I don't know why it would constitute splitting up. Just put it down to a lesson learned and vow to never do it again. Take responsibility for how if effects your spouses feelings and make amends. Put it behind you and try to do better. Life is too short to let things in the past keep troubling you. Forgive and forget. Good luck and God bless.

2008-01-19 21:53:54 Amado-Caldwell wrote: if nothing happened i would of never told you about it in the first place just for that reason called jealousy. if nothing happened in either then it needs to be dropped and put in the past.. if you harp on it over and over for months and yrs on end then you marriage will end or at the least go south.. just neither of you do that again is what i would say.. good luck

2008-01-19 21:50:29 Cheryle-Pycroft wrote: If you two are that insecure in your relationship and don't even have the tiniest bit of trust, then you should get divorced.

2008-01-19 21:54:21 Belkis-Cowper wrote:

10 years for what happened to her before is a long time for you to hold a grudge.
That said, it is true.
She gave some people a ride home but it was some people, meaning more than one even though it was mostly men but her sister apparently was there.
She also gave it to someone she knew.
You however gave a ride to a strange woman.
Alone with you.
And you lied about being at work.
You were supposed to be at work but were at the casino.
What is she supposed to think?
What were you thinking?
Lying in a marriage is a definate no no especially when it comes to where you are supposed to be.
She probably didn't tell you about giving them a ride because it was honest but what happened 10 years ago disturbed her and she told you about it.
Now why would you say to your wife you were going to work and then go to a casino and then give a woman a ride home that neither you nor your wife know?
Not good.
Not good.

2008-01-19 21:53:38 Maurice-Wilkinson wrote:

You gave a strange woman a ride home?
Well, then again I could understand how you feel about what she did.
I'm going to have to agree with your wife.
Damn.
Hey, this could solve everything: Don't give people rides home anymore.

2008-01-19 22:37:08 Benjamin-Lacon wrote: If neither of you cheated, why are you splitting up?First of all, neither one is worse. You both gave people rides home. It doesn't matter who they were, or how many of them there was, if neither one of you cheated on eachother during these car rides, then technically, neither of you did anything wrong.I think, instead of splitting up, you should try counseling. I think you two need to work on your communication and trust. Trust is an important piece of a working relationship, but it's also hard to come by. I think counseling is your best best.Good luck!

2008-01-19 21:53:30 Madalyn-Smothers wrote: Yep, your is worse. How could you think it's not morongo indian casino. that's what I don't understand. Let's see free on line let it ride poker game. She gave her brother-in-law, who she's related to, who she knew a ride and some of his friends happen to be there? morongo indian casino. You were supposed to be at work, yet you were at a casino and then you give a perfectly good strange woman a ride home?

2008-01-19 22:41:49 Dorthy-Blackburn wrote:

you are both wrong.
you both betrayed each other's trust.
now you both need to either choose to forgive and move on with the promise that this won't happen again or choose to end the relationship.
i think it's definitely worth at least one sit-down with your local pastor or marriage counselor before you make any major decisions!!
if this marriage is going to work, both sides need to examine themselves and be willing to take responsibility for hurting the other.

2008-01-19 22:05:44 Gaylord-Mcelroy wrote: They seem both equal from where I'm sitting. You both have insecurity issues. You both are living in the past silver casino tokens. Who cares who did what, who said what blah de di blah blah...you sound like two little kids fighting in a schoolyard, due to poor communication skills. I see no maturity here. Love is what brought you together, love should still be the reason enough to work through a bit of insecurity. Wipe the past off the slate, make a clean start from today on forward, and focus on building a meaningful life together, uplifting, and believing in one another. Your goal/s, your dream career/s, your travel, your experience/s of trying new things. Go out together, not apart. Include each other in all, accepting one another for the individuality you both possess, without judgment, good and bad. Nurture and Cherish moment/s of happiness, growth, stability, friendship/s etc. Seek counseling to help you work through difficult issues. Talk with each other, in a calm and adult manner. Talk in ways toward/s finding resolve to situation/s morongo indian casino. Working them out together. Rather than holding on to chaos, complication/s, and bitterness. Be forgiving, let go, and move forward...hope that helps, wishing you both...happiness and success silver casino tokens. Thanks for asking.

2008-01-19 22:48:03 Glynis-Basinger wrote:

What is the main question here do you love each and if you do love is the foundation to repair your relationship upon, deceit is deceit like a lie is a lie no matter what the lie was for good or bad it is still a lie.You guys did not commit adultry or try to kill each other or any of the terrible things couples have suffered with.I don't know you but I would sure hate to see you call your marriage quits because of the things you have stated here.You are both wrong for not forgiving each other and trying to repair this but If you don't love other any more then move on and try not to make the same mistakes.
Hi I know you will not like my answer but its my opinion which is what you asked for,one If the 2 of you break up over this my advice is never get married again please.What you did was very dishonest and more than hers.
you didn't go to work ,then you give a woman a ride home and can you honestly say that was all to that.If you felt it was right why didn't you call your wife and say hon I played hookie today went to the casino thought I could get some biggg bucks and this lady is stranded and so I am letting you know I am giving her a ride home.Thats how you do things when you are on the up and up with your spouse she had the right to know she is after all your wife.Now to me the most important part of your wife was this she told you right off what this guy had done in the park but you are upset because she did not tell you about giving them a ride come on lets take a real good look at this.I feel like the both of you are being very immature about the entire situation.When all the fighting yelling and who's right and whose wrong is over.
:) There is a saying remove that boulder from your eyes before trying to remove the splinter from the eyes of others.Good Luck to the both of you.

2008-01-19 21:53:15 Gustavo-Cass wrote: You two have some serious issues. It seems like you are both dishonest with each other and both go out of your way to make trouble for each other. Maybe splitting up is not such a bad thing. I mean an 11 month fight. This would confuse Dr. Phil.